


Pain is Passed Down

by teddybeare12



Category: Fallstreak (Video Game)
Genre: :(, Angst, Depression, Fallstreak, Gen, Gore, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Muteness, Overdramatic Child, Sadness, Self-Blame, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Sorry Not Sorry, Tris Lirit is a literal baby, blame, he's so traumatized, my poor babyyyy, you guys should know this by now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:34:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddybeare12/pseuds/teddybeare12
Summary: Just as his mother had felt that pain, Tris felt it now.It was a painful illusion. Or was it an illusion at all?





	Pain is Passed Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tris suffers. Just like his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wassuppppp my pallllllllllls
> 
> this is based off of this new visual novel thing that's free sooooooo
> 
> you guys gotta suffer with me  
> please
> 
> also this is happening  
> no stopping it  
> i'm already obsessed

Rain...

 

It washes away much...

 

But not all.

 

Not enough.

 

The Red Illusion is still there.

 

It covers all in its disgusting, red hue.

 

Or is it even an illusion at all?

 

Its horrible, debilitating presence... seems so real...

 

The blood that's smeared on the ground... seems real...

 

The blood on his mom's handkerchief... it seems real...

 

The blood... on his arm?

 

And under his nails...?

 

It looks so, very real.

 

The streaks climb up and around him, refusing to let him go.

 

They surround him perpetually, and, no matter how far he runs, he can never escape them. They always follow.

 

It's all so vivid...

 

He can see it...

 

He can _feel_ it...

 

But...

 

Is it even possible that it's real?

 

Is it possible that it's _fake_?

 

"Tris!"

 

A trembling voice, his sister, Callia, rings out, hardly audible above the pounding sounds of rain and footsteps, squelching in the mud.

 

"Tris, what are you doing?! Stop it!"

 

There's a raw fear in her voice. A truly primal sound, ripping through her throat.

 

Honestly... Tris... hadn't realized he was still doing it. Hadn't realized he was still clawing at his arms as if his life depended on it.

 

It was just pain.

 

Pain. Pain. Pain.

 

Pain.

 

Ground him.

 

Stop his burning feelings.

 

You need water to put out a fire.

 

But he can't cry.

 

Pain.

 

Close his eyes.

 

Let him become blind to the flames.

 

If he can't see them, they aren't really there.

 

He needs more.

 

Sobs break out as the poor girl attempts to stop him. She's unable to, however. She doesn't even have the means to do so. She lost that on the same day that Tris lost his voice. Besides, even if she did have the means, there's no way Tris would let her stop him. So, the only thing she can resort to is desperately jumping on top of him, screaming and frantically trying to distract him. Trying to stop him.

 

He doesn't want her help, though.

 

He doesn't _need_ her help!

 

So, he pushes her off, allowing her to fall into the filthy mud and puddles around them.

 

However, Callia, such a stubborn person, rushes back, throwing herself onto him once more.

 

No...

 

No!

 

He just wants her to leave him alone.

 

Let him feel the _pain_.

 

Let him _hurt_.

 

Let him turn away from the flames.

 

Tris pushes her off again, not really caring whether she gets hurt or not during her fall in his hysteria.

 

To his dismay, she only gives a few moments of reprieve before rushing back onto him again.

 

"Please, Tris!" Callia sobs, absolutely refusing to let him continue. Her warmth annoys him. "Please stop!"

 

She just doesn't seem to understand.

 

He doesn't want to stop.

 

He _wants_ to feel the pain.

 

He _has_ to.

 

He has to understand what his mother felt when she died.

 

When she died... because of him.

 

She'd called herself a monster.

 

She'd continually apologized.

 

But she shouldn't have apologized.

 

It was _his_ fault!

 

 _He_ was the reason she was dead!

 

But no matter how much he wants to...

 

He _can't_ apologize.

 

He really, physically can't.

 

So, he must atone.

 

He must understand what she felt.

 

He must make up for what he did.

 

Callia's breath hitches, and she falls to her knees in the mud beside him, stuttering desperately. "Tris... Y-you're hurting yourself! Stop! Stop it!"

 

He wants to scream.

 

He wants to let it all out.

 

He wants to explain to her why he can't stop.

 

He wants to explain it all so she will understand.

 

He wants to tell her so she won't worry.

 

He doesn't want her to worry.

 

Tris can't help but continue his cruel act, ignoring his sister's pitiful sobs.

 

His raw, red skin grounds him. The beads of blood, though small, help to lessen the fire within him.

 

Every drop blinds him further.

 

After an indeterminate amount of time (Tris had lost track), the flames become something manageable once again, and he turns towards his tear-stained sister, who's still kneeling beside him. Her chest still heaves, but now her eyes are dull and unfocused. Her expression blank.

 

Tris... he'd... he'd caused her to panic this much?

 

He'd done that to her...

 

"You remembered... didn't you...?" she whispers softly, breaking the silence between them, liquid flowing down her face. Tris can't tell whether it's rain... or tears. "You remembered how mommy died..."

 

Guilt overwhelms him once more, but he doesn't move. He can't. Instead, he simply stares. He stares at his terrified sister.

 

He killed his mother... and hurt his sister...

 

God... he can't stand it all.

 

He can't stand the guilt.

 

Hesitantly, Tris reaches his hand out, gently placing it on Callia's shoulder. He just wants to make her feel better.

 

His sister startles at the contact but doesn't move away. She looks towards her brother and cocks her head slightly.

 

Then, her eyes clear just a bit, and her face screws up into that of a tearful look as if she just remembered what was going on.

 

"Tris..." Callia shouts as she lunges forward, hugging the other to the best of her ability.

 

Tris wraps his arms around her soaked yet still warm body, feeling her shoulders shake.

 

God... Tris wishes he could tell her not to cry.

 

He wishes he could offer words of comfort...

 

Wishes he could really tell her how their mother died.

 

But... he's stuck in silence.

 

Even his tears are silent. Unknown.

 

The rain washes them away before he can even tell they're there.

 

The rain... also washes away any other sound he might make.

 

The environment forced him into silence.

 

And silence... is ignored...

 

Tris learned this long ago.

 

So... despite how hard Tris tries to be heard...

 

Despite how much he wants to be heard...

 

By her...

 

By their father...

 

By their friends...

 

By their mother...

 

He will always be ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i'm actually gonna cry
> 
> please suffer with me
> 
> this child is hurting my soul


End file.
